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A light-hearted look at the news headlines of 2033...

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THE world in which we once lived has gone forever, says Geoff Ford in his column in today's Grimsby Telegraph. What could happen to our society in another 20 years? Let's take a light-hearted look. Here is the news for Monday, February 20, 2033: The main stories FOLLOWING the entry into the European Union of the Ukraine and Western Russia, EU territory now extends to Leningrad, Moscow and Volgograd. Work on the new Berlin HQ for the Parliament and Commission is well underway. A drunk leaving a beer hall in the city claims he saw a moustached ghost emerging triumphantly from a bunker. THE Government has decreed that any pensioners dying sooner than expected must forfeit their £250,000 Minimum Care Contribution (MCC). Old people will have to fork out the MCC when they go into a home even if they die within the first year. "It's either that or we stop giving free iwatches to eight-year-olds," said an unrepentant Chancellor. Critics warn that old folks might be jumping like lemmings off tall structures to avoid being robbed by the state. AUSTRALIA closes its doors after a flood of British migrants. The Falklands Islands offer a special "£10 Poms" deal, with preference given to those with experience of sheep... Add your comment below and read his full article in today's Telegraph.

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