MISSING man Scott Ogden faked his own suicide in a desperate attempt to provide for his son.
The 27-year-old, from Holton-le-Clay, has spoken out in the Grimsby Telegraph today about his disappearance, which sparked a three-day search by the police and coastguard.
But what appeared to his distraught parents and brother as suicide was actually a plan to cash in his life insurance to give to his two-year-old son following the breakdown of his marriage.
Now he wants to "put things right" and raise money for the agencies who searched for him by taking part in the Alexandra Dock Christmas Day swim.
Mr Ogden, who served for six years in the Royal Artillary, said: "I am not proud of what I did. I know it was awful to put my friends and family through so much.
"I thought I could just slip into nothingness and no one would care. It was selfish but I thought my son would be better off if I was out of the way.
"I went about everything the wrong way and I am so grateful to the people who were out looking for me. I deeply regret my actions."
Mr Ogden went missing in the early hours of December 6. He was in the middle of a divorce which led to him getting into debt, and he missed seeing his son every day.
Seven months previously, he was admitted to hospital after having a "crisis moment" when he could not stop crying, and afterwards he said he felt "detached" from the world.
He spent weeks planning his "death", even staging an overdose in order to make his disappearance weeks later more like suicide.
At 4am on the day he went missing, he drove to Horseshoe Point, between North Cotes and Marshchapel, abandoned his car, hid his shoes in the marshes and set off cross-country to a "camp" he had set up in woodland off Brat Lane, Binbrook.
He stayed there for three days, shooting wild animals for food.
Mr Ogden said: "Hiding my shoes was awful because I know there was a tragedy at Horseshoe Point, but I knew it would give me time. Someone would see the car and eventually I'd be reported missing.
"I wasn't in a good way or thinking right. It was bizarre; it was like nothing was going through my mind."
Unknown to Mr Ogden, the search for him had widened – costing thousands of pounds.
His plan was to keep walking, but on day three he left his camp and was spotted by his father-in-law, who was working in the Binbrook area.
Mr Ogden is now living with his parents in Lansdowne Avenue, Grimsby, and seeing a councillor for a disassociation disorder.
He will take part in the Christmas Day swim to give something back to the rescue services.
Mr Ogden added: "I am not glorifying what I did. I thought it was the only way out. I will do anything to make it right."
If you want to sponsor Mr Ogden, e-mail faye.preston@gsmg.co.uk
